The Happy Little Boy

    I want you to hear a happy little story filled with lively memory. It is of this happy little boy who makes his day full of joy. He infects everyone to join that even the birds begin to tweet with the fragrance of the flowers so sweet and causes the tiny insects to compete. In this way, he begins his joyful day by kneeling first to pray thanking God for a wonderful day. And he kisses her mom on her cheek after licking the last drop of his milk. And he runs around and around with his arms outstretched like a kite flying in the sky.

      Here and there, everyone could see that this happy little boy is on his way. And he goes to his friends to play. And talking and laughing, jumping and dancing and singing and running, all the way giggling of the never ending tickling and teasing.

     Indeed, he really loves to laugh as if a day is not enough. Yet when he smiles with his two bright eyes and then shows his precious teeth, though broken, but so sweet; they become the gift to a friend he would meet. And then he runs for more fun, and as fast as he can, not minding the cuts that he would get. All of these are just a naughty part of this little boy’s heart.

    Yet, he continues! He begins to sing a song with the music of his little gong, the cauldron of his mom at home. He beats it hard at the very bottom with a stick from his sister’s broom. Aloud and clear, everyone hears the song he’s trying to adhere into the heart of the dearest of the little boy, full of cheer. And tong, tong, tong… it is the music of the little gong and with his little song; he makes the day sing along.

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     And from his soul, the words come, “O joyful day sing with me to celebrate His love for me. Oh, what a lovely day for me, for he comes to embrace with his gifts and his grace. He takes away all my fears and dries up all my tears.” Indeed, this makes him giggle and wiggle that breaks the shackles and hurdles changing them into love and affection. These complete his aspiration to have a day for his soul’s exultation.

The Influence of Culture in Moral Development

    Culture has been with us since the dawn of human existence.[1] Significant as it is, a culture considerably shapes its members on how they live and relate within themselves and with other cultures. However, one culture would differ from another in terms of its principles, beliefs, traditions etc. Consequently, the culture of a particular society is very integral to the development of the human person. Yet, a culture would not always be absolute in raising its members into its full development. This is a reality that a culture’s system of beliefs or principles would be wrong or inadequate in the universal perspective of human development.

     Nonetheless, this paper would look and explore on the influence of culture specifically in the moral development of the human person. As this paper progresses, I specify the word “influence” as I am concerned in exploring the culture’s impact and significance in moral development. Further, I relate the influence of culture to Moral Development as I refer to the basic or to the process of the moral dimension of a society.

There are three questions at least that serve as the guiding points of this paper. First, what is culture? Secondly, what is moral development? And finally, how does culture influence the moral development of its members? These questions set the scope of this paper that would help to bring the study into its conclusion.

Culture

       Culture, as I use this definition, “is the integrated pattern of human knowledge, beliefs and behaviours. This consists of language, ideas, customs, morals, laws, taboos, institutions, tools, techniques, and works of art, rituals and other capacities and habits acquired by a person as a member of society.[2]” From this, culture is a social environment in which a person is born and wherein he or she lives together with other persons. Hence, culture has a great impact in the development of the human person in varied ways; may it be in physical, knowledge, thought, relationship, religious or moral development.

       Moreover, culture is a person’s social heritage that has been passed from one generation to the next basically through the relationship that binds the society together. It necessarily says on what are the things a member of the society must do, what to do and how to do things. And teaches and conditions members on how to relate and live with the other members of the society and even to people outside of their own culture.

     At its fundamentals, culture has important characteristics. As I would emphasize, culture is rooted from the collective “human experience[3]”. Culture is always transmitted, shared or acquired through learning. Culture satisfies human needs as a social being. And culture tends towards the participation of the members of the society.

      Therefore, culture functions to mould and establish a social identity that brings people as well to the knowledge of common objectives which members would try to achieve. Culture, indeed, provides norms, customs, laws, and moral demands that are to be followed. So to speak, in general, in a culture there is consistency and systematic patterns of behaviour.[4]

        Nonetheless, these standards that would differ from one culture to another or from one generation to the next do not possess the absolute truthfulness. A culture’s standard or judgment may be inadequate or mistaken. Indeed, there are positive as well as negative influences a person would acquire in his or her culture. And it is always a challenge that when a culture’s judgment or standard hinders and becomes an obstacle in promoting well-being, order and harmony – it needs modifications or adjustments.

 Hence, in general the development of the human person, culture plays a vital role. In every aspect of the human person, the cultural background can be very visible. In particular, culture has an essential influence on the moral development of the human person since morality is just one of the cultural aspects.

           

Moral Development

        Moral development refers to the “process through which a human person gains his or her beliefs, skills and dispositions that makes him or her morally mature person.”[5] Yet this definition does not tell on what are those beliefs, skills and dispositions. Nevertheless, it focuses on the acquisition, understanding and most probably of changing the principles of morality of a person from infancy to adulthood. This moral development is fundamentally rooted in the very experience of a person, in his or her relationship with others in the community[6].

        As ones moral development begins to emerge through a person’s experience of relationship (relationship with him/herself and with others), morality can be best seen as principles that govern individuals’ behaviour in living, relating and treating one another with respect to justice, rights and other’s well-being.[7] In this development the concept of good and bad, right and wrong is intrinsically developing also as integral to this moral development. The morally good or right actions or behaviours are those that promote relationship, welfare and harmony. On the other hand, the morally bad or wrong actions or behaviours are those that hinder and impede an honest and good relationship with one another.

       Moreover, I would like to explore more on the process or stages of moral development. I employ the theory of the “stages of moral development[8]” of Lawrence Kohlberg, a research psychologist as I find it helpful and essential in this paper.

    Hence, the moral development of a person basically develops when he or she is still a child. The first stage is called by Kohlberg as the Obedience and Punishment Orientation – a child sees and grasps morality in terms of its physical consequences. Powerful authorities, as a child would perceive it, handed down a set of rules that must be obeyed. So, if doing something only leads to punishment, then, it should not be done. Stage 2 is the Naively Egoistic Orientation – a child begins to realize that in conforming to rules it would not just avoid him or her from punishment but also it can bring rewards. Stage 3 is the Good Child Orientation – the child progresses to have a sense of right and wrong behaviour and that by conforming to the standards of the people around him or her, the child gains approval and thus, pleasing others by being good to them. Stage 4 is the Maintaining and Social Order – this emphasizes the “doing the duty” that obedience to the social order is the right thing and deviance to it is wrong. Stage 5 is the Contractual Legalistic Orientation – the person defines duty in terms or contract or social rules and that it is important to follow these. Yet the person begins to challenge the existing social rules for the sake of promoting the welfare of the society. Thus, the person recognizes that it is possible to modify or change such rules or principles if they would benefit the majority. And lastly, stage 6 is the Universal Principle – a person lives the principles of justice and compassion and adapts these principles to social standards. Hence, when a law of a society is unjust and dehumanizing in the judgment of the person, a civil disobedience would be seen as the invitation to this.

           

The Influence of Culture in Moral Development

    Culture would tell, as I have mentioned above, the members on what to do, how to do things and what are the things that should be done as well as those things that should be avoided. So to speak, culture imprints the existing moral principles into its members, thus, shapes the character of its members as well. Indeed, this is a process from infancy to adulthood, effectively presented by Kohlberg in his theory on the stages of moral development. Hence, at this point I would somehow particularize on how culture influences the moral development of the people. The points below are the following:

•    Culture is always social and communal by which the relationship of the people towards one another and their experience as a people are the culture’s meadow. It is in this relationship and communal experience that culture influences the moral development of its members. It is important to note that morality as principle is promoted because primarily of the relationship within the community. Laws and rules and standards of attitudes and behaviours are set and promulgated by the community to promote that relationship that binds them together as a people. And culture as it is being handed down from one generation to another forms as well the morality of that particular generation. Yet, the kind of morality may not be absolutely the same with the previous generation due to changes that would inevitable occur.
•   The culture defines the normative principles and behaviours of the society. It defines which particular principle and behaviour that should be kept that would serve the best interest of the community. There would be a definition on what are the principles and behaviours also that should not be promoted or rejected. This kind of influence of culture in moral development is best seen in terms of relational level. Again, it is basic that it is in the relationship within the community and in their experience of that relationship that the community would able to form certain normative principles and behaviours. These defined normative principles and behaviours inform and indoctrinate the members as they live and relate with the community. These would shape also the kind of moral judgment a person has, which is most of the time congruent to the general moral judgment.
•   Moreover, a culture, as best exemplified in the experience of the people, develops restrictions and sets boundaries and limitations as they live and relate with one another. These restrictions and boundaries serve as protection among themselves. These would create an atmosphere of promoting the welfare of the community. Indeed, anyone who tries to step beyond these is subject to punishment or consequences set by the community embedded in the culture. Culture here, draws this consciousness into the moral development of its members.
•   As culture helps in generating the character and identity of its people, it also includes their moral character. Culture conditions the mind – the way people think and the way they perceive the world and their relationship with one another. Henceforth, a culture which characteristic is aggressive tends to be aggressive in terms of its relationship with one another or with other cultures. Yet, the character that is being shaped by a culture may not always be just and rightful. A culture like many others may shape a character that is unjust and mistaken in the general perspective of human morality.
•    The culture identifies the authorities or the governing individuals or groups. They are the symbol of guidance and control. In many cultures, men are always regarded as the leaders who oversee the order of the community and give guidance, which is true in patriarchal societies. Through their roles and responsibilities in the community within the given culture, may it be patriarchy, matriarchy or whatever; people submit themselves to their authorities.  By their very authority as they represent the general populace, the members look at them as people who promote and keep the set of rules and laws that govern the community. Their moral judgments are considered essential in moral issues of the community. In particular, in domestic level the parents of a child are the first authorities who set and teach the child essential for the moral development of their child.

CONCLUSION

      Evidently, culture is very significant in the development of the human person and in moral development particularly. Furthermore, as one would look at it, culture has a tight grip on the moral development of the people. Culture is the conditioning principle of the moral development of its members. Nevertheless, culture as the principle that surrounds the moral development of the people may not always promote what is good and just for all. It is certain that sometimes there are principles, attitudes and behaviours that actually hinder good relationships and violate the welfare of the others. These are indeed difficult to eliminate immediately in a culture, yet, they should be subject to people’s discernment that proper changes and modifications have to be done for the sake of the welfare and justice for everybody.

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[1]  James Bretzke, SJ., A Morally Complex World: Engaging Contemporary Moral Theology, (Philippines: Jesuit Communications Foundation, 2004), 132.

[2]  From the words of Sir Edward Taylor, an English Anthropologist quoted in Epitacio Palispis, Introduction to Sociology and Anthropology, (Manila: Rex Bookstore, Inc., 2007), 41.

[3]   Daniel Miguel, The Moral Choice, (New York: Doubleday and Company, 1978), 72.

[4]    Palispis, Introduction to Sociology and Anthropology, 50.

[5]  Daniel Pekarsky, PhD, “The Role of Culture in Moral Development,” Parenthood in America: University of Wisconsin-Madison General Library System, accessed 11 January 2013 <http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Pekarsky/Pekarsky.html>, 1998.

[6]   Sean Fagan SM, Does Morality Change?, (Minnesota: The Liturgical Press, 1997),  40.

[7]   Ibid., 40-42.

[8]   Taken mainly from second sources, see C. Ellis Nelson, ed., CONSCIENCE: Theological and Psychological Perspectives, (USA: Newman Press, 1973), p. 242 and Palispis, Introduction to Sociology and Anthropology, 126-127.

“Take up your cross and follow me”

When I was in elementary school I would always complain to my mother why I should have to bring my bulky books and notebooks in my bag pack which size was almost half of my height. Everyday this would be my routine going to school which was almost a kilometer away from home. I would go back and forth twice a day since my mother would not let me take my lunch at school since home was just quite near. So, I would go to school in the morning with my bag almost half of my size and would go home for lunch and go back for afternoon classes and come home again. And when my younger brother began schooling, (he is two years younger than me); I had now two things to complain to my mother. First, is my heavy-bulky bag. And second my crying-baby younger brother of course with his own heavy and bulky bag. So, while carrying my bag I had to mind as well my younger brother in going to school and coming back home.

And for quite some time this had been my recurring complain. My bag and my brother were a burden for me. When my classmates and I would compete of who would arrive at school first or at home, I just couldn’t run faster. I was always the last. Yet I tried really once to unburden myself with all those stuffs that prevented me from running faster and to be the first one to arrive. I left my bag as well as my younger brother. But OOPS! The prize I got was a whip on my butt and a litany from my mother that seemed to have no end. What a bad move! I left my heavy-bulky yet lovely bag and my crying-baby younger brother to receive a whip and an unending litany.

Nevertheless, Jesus says, “"If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. (Lk. 9:23)” It is Jesus’s invitation to anyone. It is an invitation that is certainly heavy and demanding. It is an invitation that entails sacrifice. Looking at this statement alone, it appears dull and unappealing. For what reason that someone would do that? However, in the Gospel, Luke presents the promise of Jesus and it is the promise of eternal life in the Kingdom of God. And this is what makes the invitation of Jesus meaningful and relevant.

Hence, to be a follower of Jesus or so to say to be a Christian demands this self-denial and taking up this cross daily. Consequently, it tells about suffering. And truly this is no easy task to take up ones cross or crosses. It was not even easy for me to take up my heavy and bulky bag and my younger brother. However, I survived and I grew up particularly in my relationship with my younger brother. And now that I have grown up and chose a life of my own (I hope according to the will of God), I am called and invited continuously not anymore by my mother but by the Lord to take up my cross-es. And there are many of them, small and big ones, thin and thick ones.

    Thus, I have two ways of living with my crosses of suffering. It is either to sit down under them and feel like a victim or I can take them on my shoulders and try to walk with them.  Yet either of the ways is not easy.  If I would choose the first, I would seem to run away from suffering and that when I cannot escape from it I treat it as an enemy that has defeated me. Then, choosing this is running the risk of becoming full of complaints and self-pity. This is surely the harder way: harder for myself and perhaps for everyone around me. Nevertheless, I see the wisdom of the Gospel quite different. And this is what the latter choice says – taking them on my shoulders and walking with them. It tells to face suffering, not to treat them like an enemy but like a friend, to learn, unlearn and relearn from them, to let them draw away from my self-centred thoughts and feelings, and ultimately to see them as a sharing in the Passion of Christ. Amen.

Reflection

       Every morning I would face the mirror, obviously, I would see my face there. My eyes were always half-open, with a messy hair and an oily face. The reflection from the mirror greets me that way. Since, that was also my greeting to the mirror. And it is a “reflection.” A reflection, in this sense, is an action that comes back from its origin. It is like what I have given, I receive; what I have shown, I see. In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus in a personal way says, “and the measure you use for others will be used for you (7:2b).” This phrase is similar in saying; “the things that I have done to others will be done unto me.”

        And there was a story about a dog which mistakenly got into a room which walls were all mirrors. Suddenly, the dog saw itself surrounded by many dogs. This dog got angry, bared its teeth and snarled. And all those dogs around in the same way bared their teeth and snarled too. At this time, the dog became terrified and started to run around the room. But all the dogs ran also after him. Finally, the dog stopped very exhausted and frightened. However, the dog saw at once that it was also the reaction of those dogs around. The dog wondered and started to wag its tail and immediately this dog saw that those dogs around wagged their tails too. This dog saw a friendly picture around.

    When I relate to others showing an ignoring and unfriendly face especially in the missions, I, too, experienced an ignoring and unfriendly faces. But when I showed a warm attitude, I received a warm welcome from them. Truly, anger begets anger but kindness enjoys kindness. And this is what I have experienced with the people especially living in a community of brothers. And that’s what the dog has experienced. When the dog showed anger in the same way he received anger. But when friendliness was shared by wagging its tail, the dog enjoyed a friendly atmosphere. When the dog saw at once those dogs around him then hated them, actually the dog hated itself. Yet, it was just a reflection. This is also my own attitude and behavior. Sometimes I could see things in my brothers and sisters which I really hate. By this, it makes me jump into judgment that I hate him or I don’t like her. But actually, those things I found not nice and culpable were actually the reprehensible things in me (most of the time). Those were things that I hate about myself but I just have this tendency to blame others for that to cover my own frailties. Because of this, the relationship I have with them is very much affected. However, when I let myself to be humble and showed kindness, I obtained acceptance and kindness from them.

          Somehow, Jesus is calling me to walk humbly to Him offering the traits that I hate from others which actually traits that I hate about myself. Instead of exaggerating my brothers’ and sisters’ culpable actions, I should rather be humble and sincere in my words, thoughts and deeds. Living and journeying in community I am called to courageously do away with biases and my pre-judgments. It is to be fair with others and also to be fair with myself. Together with the community, it is a challenge for me to appreciate and value the gift of person rather than judging unnecessarily.

Evangelical Vows: Knots that bind or loosen?

(on the occasion of the World Day of Consecrated Life - 2 February 2013)

“The essence of the evangelical vows is not in the result of the living but in the living of that love expressed in one’s commitment.” It has been emphasized by Sis. Ella, O.P. during our module on Vows in Context (Novitiate Modular Class). It is very important for me to understand deeply what these vows signify in my life as I aspire in the religious life, a Redemptorist in particular. Indeed, what has moved me to continue to discern and reflect and at the same time aspire with intent the religious life is my deep longing for God. I have experienced God in my life both in sorrows and joys and so I even long more for this God. I feel that this is a kind of hunger for God. However, I didn't come into this point in an instant but in a process also as I journey in formation. Through my experiences in the missions, with the Redemptorist community and with myself I have able to discover and recover bits and pieces of my person that simply long for this God. That is why I was really moved knowing that “consecrating one’s life is not self-denial but actually welcoming and reclaiming one’s self, the whole-self.” And I yearn for consecrating my life to this God, who longs to make my life complete and whole. Thus, I have taken the risk to reclaim myself by seeking the help of my mentors and the guidance and wisdom of my formators to lead me in reclaiming myself. Nevertheless, reclaiming one’s self is not that easy anyway. It entails a lot of struggles on the way. Moreover, reclaiming one’s self is a life-long process and the most important thing here is the desire and the initiative to begin the reclaiming of the self.

           Besides, consecrating myself to God necessitates the three fold evangelical vows which are very integral to this life. And these vows of poverty, obedience and celibate chastity would help me “to be formed, to conform and to be transformed into the person God has designed it.” Certainly, if I would put myself into the attitude of the post-modern world, it sounds crazy and unrealistic. Embracing this radical choice of living in poverty, obedience and celibate chastity is somewhat contradictory to what the world of pleasure promotes. And I see a very big challenge in me as I belong into this generation. However, according to the Father of Existentialism Soren Kierkegaard, “I don’t have to follow the crowd, to what the society tells for it would only bring me into melancholy and untruthfulness.”

          Furthermore, as I have understood the vow of poverty, it is first integration. It is a call to kenosis or self-emptying as God has emptied himself by giving us his son, Jesus who emptied himself also by dying on the cross. It is to make myself empty so that God could fill it with fullness. And secondly, it is liberation from my excessive preoccupation that tells detachment and availability. Definitely, it is not an easy life to commit and it is a challenge for me to be liberated from my attitude of being possessiveness. My possessiveness is not actually of material things but also of other aspect in my life that includes my thoughts, desires and priorities which are not easy to let go. But, this is the call and I have to commit to detach myself from unnecessary things recognizing my poverty before God so that I would be more available and freer.

         Likewise, the vowed obedience means a commitment to rest in God’s liberating love, a call to koinanoia. In this vow listening and attentiveness to oneself are very much important and fundamental. It is through self-knowledge that I will be able to know my needs and strengths that will help me to respond the call. It is by listening and being attentive also that I will be able to identify what holds me back and what motivates me to do a particular thing. In other words, self-knowledge is a means to embrace God’s liberating lobe by committing myself to Him, submitting my will as what Mary did. This is how the vow of obedience demonstrates the most perfect freedom, a commitment to God. Personally, it is very hard to understand this part for me. As I think of it given with the context of this world, it is difficult to embark into the meaning of this vow as liberation. Obeying someone in this world means being inferior and low, thus, not able to assert yourself. However, the dynamic that is presented here is very contradictory because this obedience brings not slavery but freedom, an expression of the perfect freedom. And this is the challenge for me to be prophetic who is to renounce God, denounce my selfish desires and announce liberation as what Jesus did, obeying the Father. And I know that it is very hard but I believe that it will bring me into that liberation. That’s why it is very important to listen and to be attentive to myself to ask myself if what I am doing leads me to God or to myself which is a selfish act.

     And the third, the vow of celibate chastity is an expression of God’s giving love, a call to metanoia (going beyond). It calls to total availability and itinerant mobility or simply as inclusive self-giving. It is a manifestation of the dedication to God with an UNDIVIDED LOVE. Here, it is so selfless yet the self is so full of love. This vow recognizes how abundant the love of God to me is. And so it is calling me to be inclusive in loving and in extending myself to others as a gift. This is the beauty of this vow for it does not only tells about abstaining from sexual or any intimate relation with a person but in fact making the whole self, heart and soul available for the mission and for the Kingdom of God. However, it is not an easy one for it beckons me to go beyond from myself, from particular people I know, and from my comfort zones. It is to consecrate my whole life into an inclusive love, a self-giving love as what God’s Spirit works. Personally, it is a kind of a radical charity that by nature gives, a love that is not possessive but very generous. And I see the difficulty also here for I am a possessive and stingy person and I have the tendency to be exclusive. Hence, it challenges me to be more charitable, to be a generous and joyful giver not just with the familiar people but even to strangers without any biases or prejudices, for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

           In truth, these vows bind not loose. They would lead me to fully be myself, to reclaim and recover my very self so that I will have something to give. This is also a reason why I desire to dedicate my life because I believe that I can give more. Despite of the shadows I have in my life, underneath those shadows lays the abundant love of God. There I would find true freedom as well as my true self as what God has designed it to be. Undeniably, as I have promised to live these evangelical counsels I have encountered problems and struggles on the way. In one way or another, I have become selfish but to be true to my promise I resolve myself to stand whenever I fall, to reconcile with myself and with God by bring it to prayer. Amen.

- from my Novitiate Journal: 10 October 2011

Faith Sharing: Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, February 2, 2012

              I remember a story of an old wise king who asked three young men to fill an empty and dark and big room big as a ballroom hall with anything they can think of. Anyone who could completely fill the room would receive half of the kingdom of the King. The first young man collected and bought wastes and garbage to fill the room but only to find out that it didn't reach up to the ceiling of the room. The second one brought with him a truck load of cotton. However, they found out that there was a corner of the room still empty and not completely filled. And the third one came presented himself to the king. But the king was wondering because he brought nothing with him. But this man went into the room and in the middle of this room he got a match and a candle from his pocket. He lit the candle and put it down in the middle of the room. As soon as the candle was put down every corner of the room, from its floor and up to the ceiling was filled with light coming from the candle. And the king was so amazed of this young man and fulfilled the king’s promise to give half of the kingdom. And that ends the story.

         The candle in the story has not just filled the room completely but also illumined the entire empty and dark room. Every corner of the room was exposed and every part of it was discovered. In this feast of the presentation of the Lord in the temple, the candle and its light conveys a very deep meaning. Simeon has proclaimed that the child Jesus is a light to the nations. Jesus the promised Messiah of Yahweh has come to bring light into this dark room, into the darkest part of my life.

        For the past illuminating and purifying months and continually at present, I am seeking and praying for Jesus that he would give light in my life. At the beginning I have felt afraid and anxious about myself for asking this light from Jesus because a part of my life is hidden in darkness. That darkness has even inflicted fear, shame and anxieties on me. And yes, I have realized that I would always live in fear and shame if ever I would continue to keep that part of my life hidden in the dark. But, no, I have to be courageous to make myself free from these painful past incidents. And it takes time for me to light the candle, to be convinced that God loves me, that Jesus is my savior and my brother. It takes time to put the candle and its light in the middle of that dark room where I have hidden some parts of my life. It takes time because I am afraid of the things that I will see and of the things that I will rediscover and of the feelings that will only be awakened. And I am afraid to see the weakest part of my very life. Nevertheless, I have taken the risk to accept Jesus as my savior, my healer and Lord. It is a risk because I have to put my trust to him and to those people who help me in illuminating the darkest part of my life. In that rediscovering, I have come into the realization that that dark side of my life is not all about Jomil. This dark side which Jesus is helping me to illumine is actually a single portion of me. There is still a bigger part of my life that Jomil’s story is also vast, full of fun, adventure, of happiness, of simplicity and not just of sorrows, of fear, shame and of anger. Finally, I would like to end this sharing with a part of a poem I composed.

The bars of the past have thickened

They hinder me to see the horizon

Now, they become darker

As the chains filled the cell.

Oh, God help me to light my candle!

It would be the candle of hope.

That may bring me into liberty with you.

Take all my fears from these chains

Yield me the strength to grasp these

To hold firmly until WE could break them

That liberty I may attain.

That darkness may not control over me

But could bring the light into the depth

That I may see the things I fear about

And face them with courage.

So that I may walk freely soon

Together with you, I’ll enjoy the walk

And bring me with you into the talk

That I may give all things I own

And surrender my whole self to you

With a heart free from chains

And with a soul rejoicing in hope.

PRAYER & PRAYING: Being Intimate with God

I have read the book of Keith Clark, a Franciscan-Capuchin entitled, “Being Sexual and Celibate.” One of his contentions in the book about sexuality is that, it is about intimacy. By nature a person hungers for intimacy because God has created man and woman to be intimate with Him. I am my sexuality. Hence, the person in me is both spiritual and physical-sexual as I have a body and spirit. And I, a person, have the need of intimacy with other people which is expressed through relationships. However, there’s more on this and that is the need and hunger for intimacy with God. But how am I going to satisfy this hunger? The initiative comes solely from God not from me because God calls and I respond to His calling. It is through personal relationship with Him that intimacy starts to spring. And my relationship with God is nurtured through prayer and praying. Now, regarding with prayer and praying; prayer is for me a way or means of being intimate with God who created me and chose me. On the other hand, praying is the act of being intimate with my God. St. Alphonsus and St. Teresa of Avila would emphasize; prayer is a familiar conversation with God. Basically, in prayer and while praying I am connecting with my God in an atmosphere of some intimacy. Thus, for me it is all about intimacy, being intimate with God.

However, before I would proceed I would like to reminisce the kind of relationship I had with God when I was still a child. Before, I had the attitude in praying that it is a Giver-receiver thing. God gives and I receive. And I had the concept of God as a punisher God. He punishes a child who does not pray and obey Him. But later on, though slowly, there was a twist from this kind of attitude into a much deeper kind of relationship. My attitude of relationship with this God becomes between a parent-son, or between brothers and even between friends. I began to approach God gradually not as a punisher but a kind and loving friend.

        Consequently, in prayer, I brought with me ideally myself, my mind, heart and soul. I say ideally because through submission to God I can have a true and sincere prayer where intimacy happens. However, human as I am not all of my prayer moments reached the ideal attitude of prayer. There were times that I was not sincere because I was not able to focus or I have let myself drowned into a pre-occupied mind. Nevertheless, the beauty here is I have always the opportunity to amend and realize the things that I have done irresponsibly. It is only in the grace of God that I could come into this realization. God is, indeed, so generous to allow me to realize and grow in His grace. That’s why I have also the time to go back again and start again of what I have started in prayer. God, as what I have felt and experienced during prayer, is the one who always takes the first initiative. It is very beautiful to reflect what the book of Wisdom says about this loving God, “You are there, sitting by your gate, waiting and calling (Wis. 6:14).” I firmly believe that when I am lost He finds me and when I am in danger He saves me.

            Moreover, prayer creates a mood where I could have the privilege to meet and be with my God. During prayers I dispose myself before God recognizing and adoring His presence and at the same time aware of my own sinfulness and dependence to the God of grace and mercy. And prayer would let my heart, my mind and my soul set into the direction towards God. It is a way of being one with Him because I believe that my faith lifts my spirit towards God.

     And praying as the act itself brings me into an intimate relationship with God as my Father, Jesus as my big brother and the Spirit as my friend and also Mary as my Nanay, my mother. When I’m praying, there is the disclosure of myself. It is a voluntary and graceful confession of who I am in relation to God. I have able to recognize my weaknesses and frailties and so I am dependent to God. But I have come to realize also the strengths that I have that God has given to me. I come to Him because there is some confidence in me that I am God’s child and it is a pleasure to Him to meet Him in prayer. Actually, it is God Himself who makes me realize that I am His own through my experiences in life both the good and traumatic experiences. And also, even through the people I have met along the way, who in one way or another have helped me to see myself and to see God in my life.

            Nonetheless, my attitude towards my relationship with God is honestly not perfect. I cannot put into numbers on how many times I became unfaithful and negligent to God in my prayers. Many a time I have taken for granted the moments that I have spent in prayer. St. Ignatius de Loyola pointed out that one of the reasons of dryness in the spiritual life is negligence. I have experienced desolation because of my own negligence. I became unfaithful when I committed sins especially those deliberate ones. I became untrue to myself when I chose and refused to accept that I need the help of God. How unfaithful I am to a God whose faithfulness never fades. Sometimes I am confronted with my guilt that really paralyzes me. But God never surrenders with me. He is so persistent, St. Teresa of Avila said. God reaches to me through other people. My spiritual directors, formators and friends are His instruments to remind me that He is a God whose love never ceases.

        This is one of the reasons why I took the risk to continue my formation despite the fear I have felt. Because of the love that I have experienced with God, He gave me the confidence and the serenity to take the step. Now, God invites me to rest in Him so that I’ll find strength. It is in prayer and while praying that I become more confident and positive of this journey because of the intimate relationship I have with my God. Despite  my imperfections and unworthiness God sees the goodness in me because He believes in me. It is my vocation now to believe in His love for me.

Matigsalug Immersion: Discovering the fount of Generosity

            As soon as we got off from the Rural transit bus we had immediately set ourselves for another trip going to Sitio Contract of Barangay Salumay, Marilog District, Davao City which was about 9 kilometres from the highway. It was a 30-minute drive by means of a “Skylab” – a motorcycle with two flat wooden-seemed-wings. During the trip I enjoyed very much to be on the left wing of the skylab even though my position was very tiring. I had to hold the tank with my right hand and keep my left hand holding the side bar of the wooden-seemed-wing to make sure my safety for the whole trip. And yet, I had to keep both of my legs close to hold and support the rice and other goods with me. And as we set off to Sitio Contract the rain started also to fall. By the time we have reached the area, we were all wet. I was indeed all wet! However, the trip was so exciting and fascinating and wonderful.

          As soon as we were ready for the welcome ceremony, we met the children and the other members of the community to begin the ritual. A white chicken was sacrificed and prayers were chanted in traditional Matigsalog dialect. A small amount of blood was placed into the plate where we dipped our fingers and made a mark on our palms. The rest of the blood where placed into the soil and where the chicken after cutting its throat was released. As the chicken jerked and jolted for its last breath, it moved around, here and there until it stopped with its head pointing the east. It was a good sign! It is an old indigenous belief that as the blood of the chicken is sacrificed for the spirits, the chicken’s head would give a message to the community. If it points to the south or north, it means neutral, neither good nor bad. If it would be pointing the east, it is a good sign. But when the head points to the west, it means a bad sign, a bad omen for the visitors and for the tribe.

      It was a ritual invoking the spirits that surround us to tell the community if our (seminarians) intention of coming there is pure. It was as well asking those spirits for guidance and blessing throughout our immersion with the Matigsalug. A traditional dance with the accompaniment of the traditional Matigsalog musical instruments such as the Kuglong – looks like a guitar but has only two strings (used by men) and the Saluray – also a stringed instrument made out of bamboo (used by women).

              The term Matigsalug actually means “people along the Salug River” (now Davao River). It was said that their original settlement was at the mouth of Salug River, which is now Davao City. It was said as well that they were part of the Manobo Tribe, a Malayo-Polynesian origin. During those years when they were at the mouth of the river, a time came when pirates and other invaders of the land harassed them. This caused the Matigsalug to move further up the Salug River. Yet when other invaders of Indonesian origin came into their place, the Matigsalug had experienced more harassment in their mid-latitude habitation. Consequently, it drove them away from their original settlement and led them instead to where they are now. At present, these people occupy mainly Central Mindanao and specifically the Province of Bukidnon and at its boundaries.

               And there, with these people I had the experience of eating, sleeping, playing, working, laughing, talking, dancing, singing and praying and more. And if I would have a glance at it, my immersion seemed to be more of a weekend recreation or a vacation. I was there without any program or input to give like in the missions I had. I was there to enjoy their company. I was called by the children Kakey (pronounced as KAKOY) which means an older brother or sister for it is a general term that applies to both sexes. And to the elders, I was called Tate (pronounced as TATO) which means younger one but equivalent to the Visayan dialects as Toto for the Illongos or Dodong for the Cebuano speakers. And I went to their farm too, to the nearby houses and went to their wonderful water falls. I ate their food, stayed in their house, and shared their blanket. Moreover, I listened to some of their painful and wonderful life and faith stories.

            And nevertheless, when I looked deeply into my short experience of living with them I found it essentially rich and wonderful. I was received into a house, as they would call it, with almost nothing but an elevated cut-flat wood floor evidently residues from timbers which were slightly burned. The wall was made from bamboo strips and partly some plywood and metal roof which were given by one of the biggest broadcasting network in the country. In one corner as well were bags and sacks filled with clothes probably clothes they received from the city during Christmas seasons. There was a small portion also for the dirty kitchen with a small table and a bench. And yet, I had the experience of a true HOME! It was a home indeed. Even though my Nanay Telma was a widow and has 10 children from the ages of 25 to 3 years old, she managed to feed her children at least. Honestly, it was too difficult for her to send them to school for she needs money for that and certainly one cannot go to school without any single penny. And yet I was so surprised to the kind of generosity this widow has. Despite her situation of being a widow, which means having no partner in supporting the family but only her teenage and adult children, she could give whatever she has to people who come to her. I was a witness to that. Some of the families where my brother-seminarians stayed and other neighbours come to her to ask for some vegetables, rice, native coffee or anything that she has. The person who came and asked would always have something. And the fact of accepting me in her house, in their wonderful home, was actually a risk and a demand for her. She always provided me with something to eat and I always got the bigger portion or more food for that is the culture. She even provided me with foam for sleeping which she borrowed from the other village that I won’t feel so much cold in the night. She covered my feet with extra blanket to ease the freezing dawn.

(from left to right: Dennis, Nilo, Maylene, Nanay Telma, Jan-jan, Jomil, Jerome-in green tshirt and the rests are silingan lang...)

               And one of the wonderful events that I had in that immersion was the deep and intimate exchanging and sharing of stories of life. Those were stories of life’s struggles, pains, doubts and as well as joys, wonder and faith. These stories moved me from tears to laughter and from worries to wonder. Then, in the course of our stories I was caught in the spontaneous statement of Nanay Telma, she said to me, “Ug kining tanan, Tate, giisip nako nga mga grasya sa Ginoo” (And all of these, Tate, I take them as graces from God). Everything! Indeed, are graces from God. Precisely, this makes my Nanay generous for she sees God’s generosity in her life. With all the hardships and struggles and deprivation and poverty there is so much grace in her life and with the whole family and certainly with the entire community of Sitio Contract.

A Response to God's Invitation

            At daybreak of Sundays I would wake up excitedly to take shower and take my favorite polo out of the dresser and I would drink my milk or coffee. My mother or my elder sister would iron my polo and let me dress with baby powder underneath my polo to make me fresher. When I’m done, I would wait for my parents outside the door until they would come out and ready to depart and attend the first mass at the parish church four kilometers away. I would jump excitedly to the tricycle to take a ride with my parents and other siblings. And every Sunday in the early morning we would go to the church for the Holy mass. Every time I would hear the bells from the altar servers I would enthusiastically look at the far end of the Church to follow the solemn procession from the church’s door to the sanctuary. I would look intently at the last person of the procession admiring and dreaming of the colorful vestment of the priest. When the priest would be in the sanctuary I would always imagine that I am at his side with a colorful dress that differs from time to time from green, violet, white and red. After the mass, I would eagerly run near the sanctuary to struggle with other children to take the hand of the priest and receive his blessing. Then I would run to my parents and demand to buy me a balloon.

            This repeated custom in the family had brought me into a deep awareness that I have this kind of particular faith. Although my parents are not highly active in other church’s activities and obligations, we children were raised to be oriented of our faith. During the month of May, which is dedicated for Mary I was always excited to go to our nearest chapel and join other children for what we called “Flores de Mayo” or flowers of May. So, in the morning with my younger brother and other playmates we would go to our neighbors where we could get some flowers to offer to Mama Mary in the afternoon. After lunch, my brother and I would wait for our neighbors to come and join them to go to the chapel. For the whole afternoon we would receive catechesis with some games and snacks afterwards. At the end of every catechesis before the snacks we would offer our flowers to the altar where Mama Mary was situated for veneration. With other children, I would follow the procession going to the altar with my cute box made out of “lion-tiger katol” filled with different flowers. We would all do those while singing the song “O Maria, Rayna sa Pilipinas” (O Mary, Queen of the Phillipines), when we approached the altar we would kneel and offer our flowers before the statue of the Our Lady of Fatima. And this practice during the summer would excite me always and I would always wait for the next coming May.

            It was during this time that I became aware that I want to become a person who would lead other people in prayer. And so, there was a time in our place that our elderly people whom we called the “antiques” successively left this life. And every month or two months there would be like a feast day. There was always a banquet prepared for those who would go to the funeral which I really enjoyed. I learned how to play cards that time and even on how to play mahjong and other sorts of gambling. Nonetheless, there was a significant experience of mine this time that had greatly influenced my dream in life. Since these funerals were always there, by tradition there should be a prayer for the dead from the first day of the funeral wake until the end of forty days. The “mananabtan” or the prayer leader for the dead is the respected person and celebrity of this kind of custom. We have only few mananabtans and one of them was our close neighbor who happened to be the mother of my close playmate too. The mananabtan would get always an invitation not from the dead but from the family (of course). And it became an opportunity for me to join with her and with my other playmates in the prayers. There, we would help in uttering the responses of the rosary and the novena for the dead while silently playing, teasing, and giggling at the back. Those days were very funny and I enjoyed it going to different houses and praying to different dead people, listening to the way the prayers were chanted and most especially enjoying the hot coffee or cold soft drinks and hard bread afterwards which was really my intention. Joining these prayers were my good excuses to my mother also to delay my study time which I really hate most before.

            It was around this time too that I was in the third grade in elementary and I took seriously my classes in catechesis once or twice a week. This time I had a deeper sense of my faith perhaps significantly shaped by our economical situation in the family. Financially, we struggled, especially my parents when my three sisters were all in college and the salary of my father couldn’t support their tuition fees satisfactorily. However, my mother found another way to help my father and that was in making homemade Filipino delicacies such as suman, puto, enfanada, pilipit, banana que and etc. My younger brother and I radically helped also in this by taking those homemade delicacies around our place. Nonetheless, this story had helped me to articulate what I want in my life. I could animatedly still remember what I answered to my religion teacher that time when she asked me, “Unsa’y imung pangandoy inig dako nimu?” (What is your dream when you grow up?) And I answered with enthusiasm in the class, “mahimong pari!” (To become a priest!) And she appreciated my answer and wished that I would pursue that dream.

            However, what made me think of this kind of dream? When I was younger, I have admired priests already. The way they spoke and deliver their homily would always amaze me. I would always spectacularly look at the priests wearing their vestments though they looked like wearing old women’s dusters. Moreover, I always noticed that people would laugh, nod their heads and listen attentively to the homily and sometimes my mother would shed a tear listening to a pitiful story that would make me wonder. Priests are respected always. People would bow to them, say something nice, greet them enthusiastically, listen to what they are saying and providing them the best thing people could offer. Indeed, there is a high regard for someone who is a priest. During barrio masses, the priest arrives in the chapel with an empty car but after the mass he would have a heavy and full of loads in his car. People always love to give the priests anything they can offer from the simplest vegetables to a big amount of money. And that’s how priests are treated. And I imagined, I want to be like that!

            Nevertheless, that dream of a grade three pupil had slowly being abandoned. I told my parents and my sisters about it but they said to me that to become a priest is very expensive which we cannot surely afford. I have to study at least for ten years and I have to be intelligent. I remember my second elder sister saying to me; “all your grades should have to be eighty-five and above.” Unfortunately, I struggled to have eighty.

to be continued...